Mourn with those who mourn...

Yesterday I learned that my best friend's brother-in-law (who I've know since he was in elementary school, he was 24) passed away.  My first reaction was shock and disbelief, in fact, I doubted the information was correct, I thought it was a mistaken identity!  I even told people about the story and now thinking back to the way I just told them only the facts, you would think I barely knew him.  But today, I received a call from his sister asking me to come over to lend support which made the situation very real for me...this was hard; not saying yes to assisting in any way I could but being there and seeing the pain and loss!

Romans 12:15 says "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." and mourning I am, which is exactly what I feel I need to do but I want to be strong for them.  I want to help and not be a sobbing mess.  They are the ones who need to be dealing with this loss and I want to be the calm shoulder to cry on, which is what I am struggling to do.  

It is just so hard when I remember him as a little boy who looked up to his sister and I, tagging along with us and I think back to when all we wanted him to do was "go away" and now he is gone and I find myself wishing he were bothering us once more because then that would mean he is here and not gone. I know this may seem childish but that is my wish.  I can think back to helping him buy a teddy bear for his first girlfriend for Valentine's Day.  Playing pool with him and rubbing it in his face that he was beaten by a girl.  Seeing him play with his niece, nephews and my children at BBQ's and birthday parties.  Constantly joking with him and thinking back to the many things that we did years and years ago.

The logical part of me knows everyone dies, loss is part of life and that it will all work together for good in God's master plan but the other part wishes I knew "why" things had to turn out this way.  Why a mother must bury her son?  Why my friends won't have their brother?  Why his niece and nephews have to ask why everyone is crying while trying to explain to us they know he will be coming home soon?  I guess this is just another example of how the question "why" is the wrong question to ask and we should be asking "what" we can get out of this or "how" can we use this situation to glorify God...but I fail to remember this when I am standing there watching his family grieve.

My prayer is that God would use me in this situation that would be glorifying to Him and that I might bring comfort to my friends who are feeling pain and loss that I can't understand despite the sadness I am feeling right now.  That my friends and their families would know that they can find comfort and peace in Jesus Christ and that this is His burden to bear.  And that everyone involved would know that the question that we all should be asking isn't "why did this happen?" but "what we are suppose to learn from it?" and how we can use what we've learned to please God.  And if anyone reading this can make this one of their prayers as well, I would be most grateful!